Katie. Kansas Native. 22 years old. Free spirit. Activist. Advocate. Firm believer in karma and hot coffee. change the way you look at things, live your dreams.

 

Remember, it’s always better to be at the bottom of the ladder you want to climb than the top of the one you don’t.  Be productive and patient.  And realize that patience is not about waiting, but the ability to keep a good attitude while working hard for what you believe in.  This is your life, and it is made up entirely of your choices.  May your actions speak louder than your words.  May your life preach louder than your lips.  May your success be your noise in the end.

And if life only teaches you one thing, let it be that taking a passionate leap is always worth it. 

The gal who is organizing walkers for the overnight walk in Philadelphia sent me an email about my accomplishments in Wichita. I’m doing what she is doing, but on a much smaller scale. Either way, sometimes recognition like this is pretty amazing. Turned my bad day into something a little better.

The gal who is organizing walkers for the overnight walk in Philadelphia sent me an email about my accomplishments in Wichita. I’m doing what she is doing, but on a much smaller scale. Either way, sometimes recognition like this is pretty amazing. Turned my bad day into something a little better.

I’ve always had a knack for picking out the good in someone, from their smile to their attitude, to the way they treated the waitress who was having a bad day.

I pass this along without an expectation of anything in return, and that is how I want to spend the rest of my life.

This is something I live by daily, I only hope to inspire as much as she did someday. May your soul rest in peace and your legacy live on forever.

This is something I live by daily, I only hope to inspire as much as she did someday. May your soul rest in peace and your legacy live on forever.

one of the most powerful moments…

about a year ago I received a message from a gal who recently attempted to take her own life… After thanking me for the things I posted about suicide prevention, she opened up to me about her struggle with depression. She had just discovered that she was pregnant, when she told her boss - he let her go. And, she had less support from her family than she thought she would… It was a difficult time for her, as I found out. She let me know that my blog and my Facebook posts helped her through a lot, even one of the darkest times.

Fast forward to two weeks ago at the first annual Out of the Darkness Campus walk - she came up to me to say hello. I almost didn’t recognize her because I only met her one time, years before. After the expected “hello, how are you?” “good.” “I’m glad you came!” there was a lull in the conversation, and after a few moments, she lifted her baby towards me and said “This is the life you saved…”

I sat there in silence, I wasn’t even sure how to respond… there it was - the powerful moment. It started with a pouty lip and an extended arm, and finished with my eyes pouring and a two minute long hug. I told her how much I appreciated her telling me that, how strong she was for being here and how much love surrounds her every single day.

As I rubbed my hand along her baby’s chunky arm, I was reminded of why I am working so hard. In the midst of the stress, the overworked eyes that were full of tears saw the light - I realized that I must keep working. These small thank-yous are the most meaningful. I don’t expect to win the Nobel peace prize, but to know that I played a small part in that little baby’s life by sharing my own story is enough motivation to keep me going for the rest of my life.

I always say that sometimes your darkness moments can be your greatest gifts. If you take everything in your life as experience, you won’t ever waste a minute. I always ask myself “what if I was sent this pain, not only to learn from it, but to help others?” And I think that is just what this is… I wanted to share this with everyone (with the permission of my friend, of course) because it was just so powerful. I want everyone to know that you must keep working hard, even when the reward is not instantaneous. No matter your situation, I think the lesson here is that you should never, ever, ever give up.

and of course, be the change you wish to see in the world…

Closure

closure; Something I’ve been constantly worried about and something I thought I would never be able to achieve without Mike here. The other people in Mikes life can love him the way they always did without it affecting anyone, I cannot. I’ve got to show someone new that there is enough room for them in my life and it is hard. It is hard because the lack of an end with Mike is obviously spilling into my new relationships and I can’t keep letting it. To let something like this happen is to be a victim of circumstance and I don’t want to be that either.

Closure is not something that is neatly obtained from the other party (and in my case, it is impossible). Instead it is something you grant yourself through the act of forgiveness. Release the energy of disappointment by finding the value of lessons learned, and never stop moving forward.

Say it before you run out of time. Say it before it’s too late. Say what you’re feeling. Waiting is a mistake.

05/12/07

the date that Mike asked me to officially be his girlfriend, after over a year of talking. I still can’t believe it, the month of May has been so surreal.